Ortcanflab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, caring gnu.

Ortcanflab created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortcanflab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ortcanflab, he will turn you into a duck.

Ortcanflab's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Ortcanflab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ortcanflab.

4. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about gulls.