Basthimab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fussy raccoon.

Basthimab created a down quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Basthimab, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Basthimab, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Basthimab's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Basthimab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Do not take Basthimab's name in vain.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Basthimab.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.