Ingtapdub is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, selfish eagle.

Ingtapdub created the Andromeda Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ingtapdub, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ingtapdub, he will not care.

Ingtapdub's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Ingtapdub's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ingtapdub.

2. Never think about optics.

3. Never hurt monkeys.

4. Never feed bananas to cats while wearing skirts.

5. Always treat hamsters with great respect.