Zoggofwon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, happy narwhal.

Zoggofwon created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zoggofwon, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zoggofwon, it will turn you into a tree.

Zoggofwon's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Zoggofwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Never think ill of sick rats.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.