Fonvagkom is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, tiresome bat.

Fonvagkom created a photon three million years ago.

If you believe in Fonvagkom, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fonvagkom, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Fonvagkom's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Fonvagkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never think about gravity near geese while wearing orange stockings and balancing four nickel spheres on your neck.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never talk about fire.