Quillgarcan is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, contented wombat.

Quillgarcan created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Quillgarcan, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Quillgarcan, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Quillgarcan's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Quillgarcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never think about optics.

3. Never talk about dark energy near voles while wearing black ear rings.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Hide from pink doves for they are unholy.