Tinparkkad is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, staggering shark.

Tinparkkad created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinparkkad, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tinparkkad, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tinparkkad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Tinparkkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nucleic acids.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tinparkkad.

4. Never feed tomatoes to frogs while wearing brown shirts.

5. Retreat if seven tapirs approach from the west.