Janzenmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a large, boastful ant.

Janzenmeg created the planet Saturn two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janzenmeg, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Janzenmeg, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Janzenmeg's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Janzenmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. You must pray to Janzenmeg nine times a day.