Fasortnib is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, clever toad.

Fasortnib created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fasortnib, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fasortnib, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fasortnib's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Fasortnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Fasortnib on top of all buildings.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Retreat if seven porpoises approach from the south.