Bonhankinvin is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, passionate dolphin.

Bonhankinvin created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonhankinvin, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bonhankinvin, he will send minions to preach to you.

Bonhankinvin's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Bonhankinvin's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Always help sick whales.

4. Never write about photosynthesis.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.