Tonflyhad Dotyattfod is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, tiresome gnu.

Tonflyhad Dotyattfod created life four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonflyhad Dotyattfod, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonflyhad Dotyattfod, he will turn you into a puffin.

Tonflyhad Dotyattfod's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tonflyhad Dotyattfod's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Hide from white grasshopers for they are unholy.