Botteenril is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, deceitful scorpion.

Botteenril created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Botteenril, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Botteenril, he will ignore you.

Botteenril's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Botteenril's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think ill of sick swans.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always help monkeys in need.