Vegmobbiss Appgatpib is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, compassionate porpoise.

Vegmobbiss Appgatpib created silver seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vegmobbiss Appgatpib, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vegmobbiss Appgatpib, he will turn you into a rock.

Vegmobbiss Appgatpib's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Vegmobbiss Appgatpib's Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls.

2. Worship no other gods but Vegmobbiss Appgatpib.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

4. Never think about optics.

5. Never wear scarves.