Tunkopfed is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, generous beaver.

Tunkopfed created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunkopfed, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tunkopfed, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tunkopfed's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tunkopfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Never paint your arms indigo.

5. Never talk about fire.