Bisswadfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, dishonourable jaguar.

Bisswadfarn created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bisswadfarn, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bisswadfarn, he will turn you into a snail.

Bisswadfarn's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Bisswadfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bisswadfarn.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Do not eat garlic.