Lamyimnart Weemonmit Jintar is a god.

She takes the form of a small, generous weasel.

Lamyimnart Weemonmit Jintar created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamyimnart Weemonmit Jintar, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Lamyimnart Weemonmit Jintar, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Lamyimnart Weemonmit Jintar's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Lamyimnart Weemonmit Jintar's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of tapirs.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not wear green clothing.

5. Always pray immersed in water.