Latstigkem is a god.

He takes the form of a large, awesome goose.

Latstigkem created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Latstigkem, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Latstigkem, he will not care.

Latstigkem's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Latstigkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

4. Do not speak about oranges.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.