Cabpascin Tarpzedtarghasbamveensawdan is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, astonishing chinchilla.

Cabpascin Tarpzedtarghasbamveensawdan created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabpascin Tarpzedtarghasbamveensawdan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cabpascin Tarpzedtarghasbamveensawdan, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Cabpascin Tarpzedtarghasbamveensawdan's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Cabpascin Tarpzedtarghasbamveensawdan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never mention otters.