Matcamhon Yakhunjin Bapflowbep is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, merciless giraffe.

Matcamhon Yakhunjin Bapflowbep created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Matcamhon Yakhunjin Bapflowbep, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Matcamhon Yakhunjin Bapflowbep, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Matcamhon Yakhunjin Bapflowbep's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Matcamhon Yakhunjin Bapflowbep's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five iron sculptures of Matcamhon Yakhunjin Bapflowbep on top of important buildings.

2. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never leap in holy places.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.