Tadquimjad is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, bad-tempered wyrm.

Tadquimjad created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadquimjad, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tadquimjad, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tadquimjad's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Tadquimjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Always help sick tortoises.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Tadquimjad on top of all buildings.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.