Lapgonnart is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, caring centaur.

Lapgonnart created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapgonnart, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lapgonnart, she will turn you into a rat.

Lapgonnart's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Lapgonnart's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry snails.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Lapgonnart on top of all buildings.