Tifflannartjapparkxenbast is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, competent human.

Tifflannartjapparkxenbast created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifflannartjapparkxenbast, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tifflannartjapparkxenbast, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tifflannartjapparkxenbast's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Tifflannartjapparkxenbast's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tifflannartjapparkxenbast four times a day.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Tifflannartjapparkxenbast must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.