Natwotpod is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, proud pigeon.

Natwotpod created a charm quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Natwotpod, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Natwotpod, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Natwotpod's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Natwotpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near dogs while wearing magenta tights and balancing five titanium spheres on your legs.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never run in the presence of pigs.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.