Jatzogqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, pitiless deer.

Jatzogqueeg created the Black Eye Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatzogqueeg, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jatzogqueeg, he will turn you into a mole.

Jatzogqueeg's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Jatzogqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never feed lemons to tortoises while wearing blue ear rings.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jatzogqueeg.

5. Never think about quantum gravity.