Haslarggemflam is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, astonishing rat.

Haslarggemflam created Mount Everest seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haslarggemflam, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Haslarggemflam, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Haslarggemflam's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Haslarggemflam's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near frogs while wearing fawn shirts and balancing seven copper spheres on your chest.

3. Haslarggemflam loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Haslarggemflam in the centre of the settlement.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.