Gardantim is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, self-confident squirrel.

Gardantim created the Black Eye Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gardantim, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gardantim, he will not care at all.

Gardantim's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Gardantim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Never pour water over plants.