Toffaggun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, all-powerful jackal.

Toffaggun created oxygen six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Toffaggun, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Toffaggun, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Toffaggun's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Toffaggun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snails.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Always help doves in need.