Appbemril is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, idiotic raccoon.

Appbemril created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Appbemril, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Appbemril, it will turn you into a duck.

Appbemril's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Appbemril's Holy Commandments

1. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

2. Always help sheep.

3. Run away from brown hamsters, for they are unholy.

4. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

5. Do not listen to music.