Tifdiss is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, loving mouse.

Tifdiss created a top quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Tifdiss, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tifdiss, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tifdiss' most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Tifdiss' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tifdiss three times a day.

2. Tifdiss loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

3. Always help sick goats.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Never paint your chest yellow.