Nartxemhit is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unjust chicken.

Nartxemhit created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartxemhit, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nartxemhit, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nartxemhit's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Nartxemhit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.