Capgemjan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, quiet dryad.

Capgemjan created life five billion years ago.

If you believe in Capgemjan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Capgemjan, he will turn you into a plant.

Capgemjan's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Capgemjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Do not kill mites.

3. Run away if seven sheep approach from the east.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Capgemjan.