Kendanmet is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing ant.

Kendanmet created Mount Everest six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kendanmet, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kendanmet, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kendanmet's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Kendanmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about dark energy near dogs while wearing violet scarves and balancing five copper spheres on your chest.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Kendanmet must be the most important thing in your life.