Voncemwitdib is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, irritating gorilla.

Voncemwitdib created oxygen two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Voncemwitdib, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Voncemwitdib, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Voncemwitdib's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Voncemwitdib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Do not take Voncemwitdib's name in vain.

4. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.