Tadrotmadlancimsitbugtad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unsympathetic narwhal.

Tadrotmadlancimsitbugtad created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadrotmadlancimsitbugtad, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tadrotmadlancimsitbugtad, he will turn you into a duck.

Tadrotmadlancimsitbugtad's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tadrotmadlancimsitbugtad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not take Tadrotmadlancimsitbugtad's name in vain.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.