Barnnarpas Ruttrillapp Kikladbap is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, vain weasel.

Barnnarpas Ruttrillapp Kikladbap created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnnarpas Ruttrillapp Kikladbap, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Barnnarpas Ruttrillapp Kikladbap, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Barnnarpas Ruttrillapp Kikladbap's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Barnnarpas Ruttrillapp Kikladbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to goats while wearing brown tights.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Hide if six foxes approach from the south.