Gabstipflan Omtqueegcan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, prudent alligator.

Gabstipflan Omtqueegcan created the Tadpole Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabstipflan Omtqueegcan, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gabstipflan Omtqueegcan, she will remove you from existence.

Gabstipflan Omtqueegcan's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Gabstipflan Omtqueegcan's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never hurt pigs.

5. Do not stand on grass.