Sabflagvonk is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, prudent salamander.

Sabflagvonk created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sabflagvonk, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sabflagvonk, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Sabflagvonk's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Sabflagvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about optics near eagles while wearing magenta ear rings.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near tapirs while wearing turquoise stockings and balancing six gold spheres on your legs.

5. Always pray immersed in water.