Arfwonsasrillbaglenyarp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive butterfly.

Arfwonsasrillbaglenyarp created tapeworms three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfwonsasrillbaglenyarp, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Arfwonsasrillbaglenyarp, it will turn you into a plant.

Arfwonsasrillbaglenyarp's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Arfwonsasrillbaglenyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near mites while wearing magenta scarves and balancing five zinc spheres on your arms.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Hide from black turtles for they are unholy.