Mapcapced is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unthinking squirrel.

Mapcapced created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapcapced, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mapcapced, he will throw large rocks at you.

Mapcapced's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Mapcapced's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never feed bananas to mice while wearing ear rings.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near ants while wearing gray hats.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.