Cuntagstaf Kanvinnutt Appbastab is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, stupid goblin.

Cuntagstaf Kanvinnutt Appbastab created the Andromeda Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cuntagstaf Kanvinnutt Appbastab, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cuntagstaf Kanvinnutt Appbastab, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cuntagstaf Kanvinnutt Appbastab's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Cuntagstaf Kanvinnutt Appbastab's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics.

3. Worship no other gods but Cuntagstaf Kanvinnutt Appbastab.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cuntagstaf Kanvinnutt Appbastab.