Ratyarpyamtargfat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, moody yak.

Ratyarpyamtargfat created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratyarpyamtargfat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ratyarpyamtargfat, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Ratyarpyamtargfat's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Ratyarpyamtargfat's Holy Commandments

1. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ratyarpyamtargfat.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Do not keep six horses in a large pit.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.