Cumjapmot is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, dishonest squirrel.

Cumjapmot created silver five million years ago.

If you believe in Cumjapmot, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cumjapmot, he will torture you forever.

Cumjapmot's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Cumjapmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Do not speak about aubergines.

3. Always wear red.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always obey Cumjapmot's priests.