Doncamdam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, two-faced swan.

Doncamdam created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Doncamdam, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Doncamdam, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Doncamdam's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Doncamdam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. You must pray to Doncamdam seven times a day.

5. Never pour water over plants.