Kadflishud Gepquimdit is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, overgenerous hyena.

Kadflishud Gepquimdit created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadflishud Gepquimdit, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kadflishud Gepquimdit, he will torture you forever.

Kadflishud Gepquimdit's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Kadflishud Gepquimdit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Worship no other gods but Kadflishud Gepquimdit.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never hurt hamsters.