Nanjinhitdud is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witless crocodile.

Nanjinhitdud created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nanjinhitdud, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nanjinhitdud, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Nanjinhitdud's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Nanjinhitdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to squirrels while wearing coats.

2. Never hurt tapirs.

3. Never talk about goats.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.