Tonkratjen is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, calm gnu.

Tonkratjen created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkratjen, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tonkratjen, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Tonkratjen's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Tonkratjen's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat ants with great respect.

2. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always obey Tonkratjen's priests.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.