Spaggenmid is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, egotistical parrot.

Spaggenmid created a quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spaggenmid, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Spaggenmid, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Spaggenmid's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Spaggenmid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Spaggenmid on top of all buildings.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.