Metkimlen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring giraffe.

Metkimlen created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Metkimlen, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Metkimlen, it will torture you forever.

Metkimlen's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Metkimlen's Holy Commandments

1. Metkimlen loves voles, so they must be respected.

2. Do not eat bananas.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Erect three carbon sculptures of Metkimlen on top of important buildings.

5. Never mention squirrels.