Tarpflowbut is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, smart guinea pig.

Tarpflowbut created water six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpflowbut, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tarpflowbut, he will turn you into a rat.

Tarpflowbut's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Tarpflowbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention great tits.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Tarpflowbut in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never talk about spacetime near tapirs while wearing purple stockings.