Queegquamtail is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, passionate dog.

Queegquamtail created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Queegquamtail, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Queegquamtail, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Queegquamtail's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Queegquamtail's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Queegquamtail.

2. Erect four titanium sculptures of Queegquamtail on top of important buildings.

3. Never skip near gulls.

4. Always help snails.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.